Wednesday, August 10, 2011

I'm not strong enough

Dear who really cares anyway~

I try my very best to be the best person, wife, mom and friend I can be. when I have a friend that is going through a tough time I want to be there to support and love and help them through. there are times however when I can not be there in person because of distance whether it is just miles or an ocean. I still try to support by emails or posting to social networks. what really irks me is when 1 or more people think they know what is going through my mind and tell me what I should not post on MY wall of all things ummm censor me in a way. I do know that fighting is childish and being rude even more so and at times I just can not help myself. so when I am trying to help a best friend and someone else comes along that claims that same title and tells me not to and makes me feel like they feel like they are above me it does not set right with me. my life is not perfect right now far far from it but, I am doing the best I can and I don't need someone coming and telling me I need to watch my posts. I know no one reads this thing it is a good way for me to vent and get frustrations out. I know that people all over the world go through tough times some far more tough than others and even knowing that tough times are still tough. the need for support is still there so don't criticize someone because you THINK someone else needs you to do it. my struggles are far less than my friends and I am coping with them as well as I can. Please keep in mind I would NEVER undermined the struggles of someone else ever, even if I think mine were worse. the question What Would Jesus Do? comes to mind...the answer??.....Forgive, have Mercy and Grace for them and love them anyway. so God Help me because I am human and a sinner and I can not do this on my own I'm not strong enough! Yours Truly, B

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Dear God

Dear God:

I know I am not perfect, and I know that sometimes I don't listen when you call, for that I am truly sorry.

I'm sorry for being human and sinning everyday and taking everything into my own hands when things don't go my way.

I am sorry for my actions and the words that I say. I am sorry that I don't always take the time to pray.

I am sorry for the judging of people that I see, for trying to take the twig from their eye when I can barely see.

I am sorry for the anger that swells up inside until it runs over like the rising of the tide.

I am sorry for my stubbornness and all my human ways and for the tug of war I always want to play.God I ask you to forgive me on this very day for my sinful nature and my prideful ways.

I ask for your guidance along with mercy and grace and throw in some wisdom as I go along my way.

take my hand and lead me and show me where to go, as long as you are with me I can go down any road.

Thank you for your love and for forgiving me and even though I'm a stubborn willful child you will never leave me.


Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Dull??? Never!

there never seems to be a dull moment in my life. Stress? Of course lack of money? we have all been there, but the one constant in my life is my Faith in my God to provide. no matter how low I get God will always bring me home again. I have often struggled to keep my eyes on God and at times I falter but, I never stray to far. I have tons of conflict from people that criticize me for how I believe but no one will ever change my mind about who to trust when I need to trust the most. I am thankful for the Blessings God has given me and I pray that God will open the eyes of those that do not believe. I also pray that God give me the wisdom to lead my kids and when I mess up that He will guide them so thay will be the people God has chosen them to be.