A TEENAGER'S VIEW OF HEAVEN

I got this off of myspace this is really good....Billie

A TEENAGER'S VIEW OF HEAVEN

17-year-old Brian Moore had only a short time to write something for a class.
The subject was what Heaven was like. "I wowed 'em," he later told his
father, Bruce. "It's a killer. It's the bomb. It's the best thing I ever
wrote.." It also was the last.

Brian Moore died May 27, 1997, the day after Memorial Day. He was driving
home from a friend's house when his car went off Bulen-Pierce Road in
Pickaway C ounty and struck a utility pole. He emerged from the wreck
unharmed but stepped on a downed power line and was electrocuted.

The Moores framed a copy of Brian's essay and hung it among the family
portraits in the living room. "I think God used him to make a point. I think
we were meant to find it and make something out of it," Mrs. Moore said of
the essay. She and her husband want to share their son's vision of life afte r
death. "I'm happy for Brian. I know he's in heaven. I know I'll see him."

Brian's Essay: The Room...

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room.
There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with
small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles
by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched
from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very
different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my
attention was one that read "Girls I have liked." I opened it and began
flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I
recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew
exactly where I was.

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my
life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and s mall, in a
detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled
with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and
exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense
of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if
anyone was watching.

A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I have betrayed." The
titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird "Books I Have Read,"
"Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed at." Some
were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've yelled at my
brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger",
"Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be
surprised by the contents.

Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I
hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. C ould
it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these
thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each
was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "TV Shows I have watched", I realized the
files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet
after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it,
shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew
that file represented.

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through
my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size and
drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content.

I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal
rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these
cards! No one must ever see this ro om! I have to destroy them!" In insane
frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it
and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the
floor, I could not dislo dge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out
a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my
forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

And then I saw it.. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With."
The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled
on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my
hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They
started in my stomach an d shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I
cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file
shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this
room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the
tears, I saw Him.

No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as
He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His
response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw
a sorrow deeper than my own.

He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every
one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me
with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my
head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over
and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't
say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of fi les. Starting at one end of
the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over
mine on each ca rd. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say
was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these
cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name
of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card
back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll
ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I
heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side.

He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished." I stood up, and
He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still
cards to be written.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."-Phil. 4:13 "For God
so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believe s in Him
sh all not perish but have eternal life." If you feel the same way forward it
so the love of Jesus will touch their lives also. My "People I shared the
gospel with" file just got bigger, how about yours?


You don't have to share this with anybody, no one will know whether you did
or not, but you will know and so will He.

moving again

God has blessed us abundantly. we have to move yet again but, this time our home goes with us. it is never easy to move even if you have a home that has wheels. the kids love it there but due to circumstances we are not able to stay. I am not worried God will place us where we are supposed to be and I am sure that in due time we will have a permanent home. I pray everyday for God to lead me on the path I am to go and to help me with the things that are difficult for me to take and I am confidant that with My God in charge I will be okay. I am hoping I can participate in the NANOWRIMO this year but if not then well I was not supposed to. God is good and I am grateful for the things he has provided my family.

God is so good

today marks the 1 year of Steve Irwin's death.I have remembered him and how my kids loved to watch him. so to his family you are in my prayers.

I have done some searching and found that God is truly a wonderful God and I want to tell the world about his love and grace. I recently posted on myspace about the what is a christian and I am telling people I see about God and my 5 yr old is telling people about Jesus and that he died on the cross to save us that is to awesome I just thought I would share.

What is a Christian?

I asked myself the other day the same question and the answer that came to me was not quite the same as websters online dictionary.


Main Entry: 1Chris·tian
Pronunciation: 'kris-ch&n, 'krish-
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin christianus, adjective & noun, from Greek christianos, from Christos
1 a : one who professes belief in the teachings of Jesus Christ b (1) : DISCIPLE 2 (2) : a member of one of the Churches of Christ separating from the Disciples of Christ in 1906 (3) : a member of the Christian denomination having part in the union of the United Church of Christ concluded in 1961

1a is a firm belief because the teachings is very important but, what you do with the teachings is where my opinion of the meaning comes in to play. I feel that to be a true christian not only do I need to believe in God but, I must strive to live the way He wants me to live. To be Christ like in every way, with EVERY aspect of my life the way I talk the way I dress and what I listen too. I know some claim to be a Christian but if we look at the way they live do they glow with Christ if I were to stand before God today what would He see? I am turning my life around I am praying and I am trying to live with Christ alive in my spirit. I want to have God say well done my good and faithful servant. Being a christian is not a thing or a club it is not "going to church" it is a relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ and allowing Him to shine through so we may witness and minister to those that do not believe, are hurting,down or are searching for something to hold on to. A relationship more personal then one we have with our spouses one so special that we can feel Him even if we do not always hear him. As people condemn Christians how wrong are they? can we truly stand up and say yes I am a christian and my life reflects it? Who is to say who is a Christian? Only God.

kids pick up more than we know

My daughter asked me the other day Mommy if you have another baby which one of us will you sell? My jaw hit the floor and I said neither of you so then she says you will love us all the same? and I said of course I will. she was quite for a sec then said it is a good thing you don't want more babies and I said I do daddy does not want more kids and again she says but, why do you want more since we are so hard to handle? again I was speechless and I was unsure what to say but, it got me thinking kids in general pick up on things we would never even considered them to even hear, understand or know. but to think I would sell my kids if I had another one is something I don't understand where she would have gotten that. kids pick up on frustration and I can see the second part but any thoughts on the first statement?

to the future

I quit my job today! I have made the choice but it was doing it that was the hard part. I have done it for 4 years and today I am free from it and the headaches it brings. Now I am trusting God to lead me where he wants me to go. to provide and open doors and to guide me to the path I am to follow. at the cross road in my life I am feeling a little nervous. so I ask God to Take my hand and lead in hopes I don't drag my feet to much or end up with my bum on the ground with burns on it. I want to go back to school and get into the schools and be what I have longed to be a teacher. maybe not an official one but any teaching is going to make a difference in a life. When you teach you touch the future and my goal is this if I help just 1 I have made a difference. So here is to life and what it may Bring and to God with hopes of staying on two feet.

hey I am back sort of

I have to say it has been a long hard journey that is yet to be over. my home is now a travel trailer and my computer is my friends computer. my job I am quitting for school I hope anyway and I am praying for God to make me a better person ,mom and wife today than yesterday and I think God is working I find my self responding to things differently than I normally would. so yes God is good and I am blessed.

This is Good Bye!

well my friends as the countdown continues my time left with you is short. after tomorrow I will be gone for a while. I am not sure where I am going as to I will not have a home and I am not sure when I will be back if I do get back. My computer is going to storage and I and my family will be seeking shelter. I really enjoy blogging and meeting new people and I know that life will go on even if I am not online. someone asked what my dream home would be and this is what I told them. A home that has four walls a roof and a sound floor one with no broken windows and a door. a wall that faces north south east and west. no particular color is needed as long as it protects. So long for now and thank you for coming to see me off!

Luck

Create your own Clover Post-It

I can only imagine

read the two below as well this I just had to add

God works through Email

I got these two emails today and it helped me Thank you to Reese and my mil

LIFE EXPLAINED

On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door
of your house and bark at anyone who
comes in or walks past. For this, I will >give you a life span
of Twenty years."

The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only
ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"
So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain
people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For
this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a
pretty long time to perform. How about I give you
back ten like the dog did?"

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said: "You must go
into the field with the farmer all day long and
suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the
farmer's family For this, I will give you a life span
of sixty years."

The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live
for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give
back the other forty?"

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play,
marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you
twenty years."

But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my
twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten
the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes
eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play
and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we
slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years
we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.

And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at
everyone.



Life has now been explained to you...

GODS CAKE

Sometimes we wonder,
"What did I do to deserve this?"
or "Why did God have to do this to me?"
Here is a wonderful explanation!


A daughter is telling her Mother how
everything is going wrong,
she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up
with her and her best friend is moving away.

Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks
her daughter if she would like a snack,
and the daughter says,
"Absolutely Mom, I love your cake."

"Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers.
"Yuck" says her daughter.

"How about a couple raw eggs?"
"Gross, Mom!"

"Would you like some flour then?
Or maybe baking soda?"
"Mom, those are all yucky!"

To which the mother replies:
"Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves.
But when they are put together in the right way,
they make a wonderfully delicious cake!"

God works the same way.
Many times we wonder why He would let us
go through such bad and difficult times.
But God knows that when He puts these things
all in His order, they always work for good!
We just have to trust Him and, eventually,
they will all make something wonderful!

God is crazy about you.
He sends you flowers every spring
and a sunrise every morning.

Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen.
He can live anywhere in the universe,
and He chose your heart.

God Bless our Soldiers

I am reminded daily of the sacrifices our soldiers make and I am angered at those that do not want to support them. We have soldiers that fight and have fought for our freedom while we sit in our homes safe and warm yet some do not appreciate the sacrifice so today as we look into tomorrow I say cheers to our heros those that are fighting now those that have fought and those that sacrificed some or all May God Bless our country and protect those that fight to keep it FREE...


Courtesy of SparkleTags.com

Love and Logic

I am taking yet again the Love and Logic class and every time I do I find new things or remember the old I had forgotten. I am incorporating love and logic in to my life and my words I read a post by Heather at Just a thought about words and it inspired me to write. last week I was telling my daughter in the love and logic way to feel free to talk to me when she was sweet and her voice was as quite as mine, or feel free to get out of the corner when she was happy again or well you get the picture she then told me very calmly mommy feel free to stop using feel free all of the time. I had to cover my mouth and stifle my laughter she caught me off guard but, she has been a little better in the behavior department and it has been nice

Don't drink and Drive

This is Jacqueline Saburido on September 19, 1999.































This is her and her Father, 1998.























This is her on Vacation in Venezuela.



















Birthday party as a child.























At a party with friends.



















The car in which Jacqueline traveled. She was hit by another car that was driven by a 17-year old male student on his way home after drinking a couple of hard packs with his friends. This was in December 1999.











After the accident Jacqueline has needed over 40 operations.































Jacqueline was caught in the burning car and her body was heavily burnt during around 45 seconds.























With her Father, 2000.



















Getting treatment.























Three months after accident.



















Without a left eyelid Jacquie needs eye drops to keep her vision.



















Now 20 year old, he cannot forgive himself for driving drunk on that night three years ago.







He's aware of devastating Jacqueline Saburidos life.



















Not everyone who gets hit with a car dies. This picture was taken 4 years after the accident and the doctors are still working on Jacqueline, whose body was covered with 60% severe burnings.































This is all to real one fatal night a beautiful girl full of promise and a future has had her life destroyed because of a drunk driver please don't let friends, family or any one drive drunk!

To a mother that left love behind

Dear Rebecca:
even though you have gone to see God tomorrow is mothers day and for the two beautiful children you left behind and the two beautiful stepchildren Happy mothers day and we all miss you. life has not been the same and there have been some holes that are slowly healing but will never be completely gone. with out your smiles life will be very different and for that I am saddened but you are no longer suffering and for that I am grateful. so here is to the mother that always thought of her children and loved them very much Happy Mothers day to you.

Four things

Four jobs I've had
1. Receptionist magno humphries
2. pizza delivery driver
3. Cook
4. CNA
Four movies I can watch over and over
1. Anything shirley temple
2. John Wayne
3. Phantom of the opera
4. grease

Four places I have lived
1. The Dalles, OR
2. Dufur, OR
3. Beaverton, OR
4. Kirkland, Washingon

Four television shows I love to watch
1. Brothers and sisters
2. Ghost hunters
3. young and the restless (yes I like a soap)
4. perry mason

Four places I have been on vacation
1. california
2. silver falls
3. Oregon coast
4. woods camping

Four of my favorite dishes
1. stir fry
2. salad
3. chicken
4. rice

Four websites I visit daily
1. just a thought
2. dailey gratefulness
3. just being me
4. google
Four places I would rather be right now
1. on a motorcycle
2. at disney land
3. shopping
4. flying
So if you want to play along, post the answers to these questions on your blog and let me know so I can check it out.

Are you a redneck? I am 64 %

I got this off of myspace what are you? Billie

For the record, just because you live in a small town, doesn't mean you want to live in a small town.

Post your percentage in the subject!

Have you ever…
( x) have you ever lived in the country?
(x ) shot a gun?
(x ) own a gun?
(x ) hunted?
(x ) driven a truck?
Subtotal=5

( ) chewed tobacco?
(x ) gone camping?
(x ) listened to country?
(x ) owned a country cd?
(x ) fished?
(x ) worn a cowboy hat?
( ) worn cowboy boots?
Subtotal = 5

(x ) ridden a horse?
(x ) seen a farm?
(x ) worked on a farm?
( x) lived on a farm?
(x ) fed a farm animal?
( ) worn carhartt?
( x) lived in a small town?
(x) worked on a car?
Subtotal= 7

(x ) seen a nascar race?
( ) been to a nascar race?
( ) been to an oval track?
(x ) seen a demolition derby?
( ) seen a figure 8 race?
(x ) talked on a cb radio?
(x ) had a cb in your car?
( ) seen smokey and the bandit more than 10 times?
Subtotal= 4

(x ) watched the dukes of hazzard?
(x ) owned more than two cars that don’t run?
(x ) been to a junkyard
( ) been a racist
(x) been in a ford vs. chevy argument?
() gone cow tipping? (it was when I was a kid! Sheesh)
( ) went frog gigging?
Subtotal= 4

( ) had to ponder whether your family said tire or tower?
( ) been sprayed with deer pee?
(x ) worn camo?
( ) ridden a 4-wheeler?
( ) owned a cabin
(x ) went swimming in the pond?
Subtotal= 2

( ) drank white lightening? (moonshine)
(x ) had your whole family on the front porch?
(x ) thought that wal-mart was the coolest place ever?
( ) own a shirt with a rebel flag?
(x) eaten venison (deer meat)?
(x ) cooked over a fire?
(x ) ever been muddin?
( ) ate squirrel?
Subtotal= 5

Overall= 32

Now multiply your score by 2 and post it as “I’m –% redneck”.

YEEHAWW! If your redneck score is over 50%, you can officially call yourself a redneck

Who won?

I have been depressed can you tell I got in to an argument with myself and I am not sure who won. I keep asking if God really helps where is it? I keep hearing "it is there for the taking you just need some faith." I ask if I have faith why am I not seeing results? I keep hearing "trust" How can I trust if I keep hitting brick walls I hear "faith" it is a circle. I then ask why do other people that may not believe have all the breaks? and again I hear "have Faith like a mustard seed you can move mountains" I tried but nothing "Gods time not yours" my next question is God real " duh look around do you think it was the big bang" so who wins I am not convinced and I am frustrated and annoyed and I feel completely empty now. I have to admit the christian music station I love I have not been able to listen to with out frustration and a little anger. so with this I leave you maybe I will continue to be grateful on daily gratefulness but I think I am signing off for now.

Disappointment

I have to say I have had some real tests of faith in which I am ashamed to say I failed. I have lost my grasp and this is a really hard thing for me to do. I know God is the provider and I know he answers in his time not mine and I know that God will not give me more than I can handle BUT, I have to say that with this whole house aspect it has been a journey in which I do not want to live again. I have to say that as of now it will take a miracle to make this home thing go through and I am banking it won't. Yes ladies and gents I am having some big doubts. and I hate myself for it. the disappointment on my kids face when we got rid of their dogs for this house because of hard wood floors and now the bigger disappointment of not getting it. I have failed there is no ifs ands or buts about it I failed my family my God and myself I have lost myself and I am not sure I really want to find me again. I have to face reality that I will never succeed or be a home owner and have money in the bank for a rainy day and that hurts. Foster care is out renting is not a place for foster care and that means I have to work when I really want to raise my kids. Yes I have my life all layed out work clean and work some more with out any satisfaction whats so ever. maybe God thinks I am not good enough.

dream home

The house well so far it is not ours. Everything was going well and now well it is not. I have no idea what we are going to do far a home or if we will live in a tent. My faith is being tested and I do not think I am strong enough to pass this test. I am suposed to be out of this drafty house by tuesday we should have been moved two weeks ago. so I am dreaming of my dream home four walls a roof and windows and doors